Is that supposed to make me love you, or are you just a non-compliant psychiatric patient? The only thing more offensive to my intelligence than receiving a fake smile is forcing one in the name of customer service. From hiding behind a grin to hoping the white cashier's nose will turn a brownish hue, obligatory smiles cheapen and intellectually depreciate us all.

Smiles have been a shadowing demon and a necessary evil throughout my working life. Managers everywhere insisted I adopt a less sincere disposition for my minimum wage acting performances. Greet each customer as they walk through the door (while grinning). Greet them as they approach the counter (while grinning). Pretend to care deeply as to the goodness of their day (while grinning). Take their order and suggestively (I have a few suggestions) sell (while grinning). Bootlickingly thank them for their stock-surging $7 business (while grinning). With tears of joy and baited breath, thank them again before warmly wishing them a nice night (while contemplating unemployment and homelessness). Bend over and bubble over with speed-freak phone sex actress enthusiasm while doing all of the ungodly above. Check your dignity at the door in preparation for a whorish, soul-siphoning, hope a robber puts two in my head love fest with the monstrous general public. My God, I'm hardly alive.

Flirting women aside, I have no need for the grins of strangers. If you have such a need, allow me to explain what is wrong with you. Smiles arouse feelings of acceptance. Being appreciated is such a great thing that people accept it at face value rather than evaluating is genuineness. Of course you don't care about the workers, but have you actually deluded yourself into thinking that they care about the quality of your mood? "We love to see you smile" makes McDonald's a bigger corporate liar than Philip Morris. We love to see you get the Hell out of here so we can bitch about your sorry ass over a cigarette.

Another aspect of the obsession for appreciation is that people rarely take time to appreciate themselves independently of others' feedback and opinions. Wanting to find feigned nuances of validation at every turn is comically pathetic. Most sober people are not so unstable as to be emotionally stimulated by a facial expression, at least not consciously. If you actually want a smile served with your Chalupa, what does that reveal about your emotional and psychological disposition? Screw this, I hate fake smiling and your punk ass is unworthy of my efforts. Pay the damned order and get your love at home. Does nobody love you? What a jarring shock. Your fault, not my problem, fix yourself and find some loser.

A smile can easily be construed as a show of subservience. Some controlling bitches and or bastards enjoy having servants dance for them. The perception of subservience may arise from a gratuitously beaming smile or a subordinate demeanor. Such garbage may perceive submission solely for their childish indulgence. People see what they want to. Just as smiles incite acceptance, they are used to gain acceptance. Contrary to these domination junkies' chosen delusion, our employment does not hinge on their petty satisfaction. For such customers, I suggest a more regal, or nose in the air type of smile. Better still, Molotov any hint of subservience with a trademark of mine which has been dubbed "the smile of insanity." Picture Hannibal Lecter on ice.

On the subject of insantiy, one can never know the truth behind a smile. Hypothetical explanations include; his psycho ass grins at the visualization of bludgeoning your face, hypomania, he sabotaged your order, he is mocking you (likely justafiably) or the asininity of his job has struck him funny. Personally, I used smiling to mask my complete disgust during my fast food days. My thoughts urge uncouthness, so I'll veil my contempt with a goonish smile. Eat it up, cerebral slugs.

Aromas of saccharine come to the front in this nauseating grin. Note the layers of piss and vinegar emanating from the cashier's eyes, complimented by a soupcon of spicy bitterness that lingers in the palate-raping finish. Serve this off-dry gesture glacially cold.

Apparently, people feel welcome when cashiers smile, as if bringing their wallet didn't make them welcome enough. "If customers don't think you want to be here, they won't want to be here, either," according to a training video by my employer. They are trying to convert grocery stores into an escape from reality. Do these people actually need smiles of encouragement to frequent retail establishments, or is that approval just the colorful icing on their loser cake?

These are nothing more than illogical behaviors that reek of childish vapidity. Most people will continue to panhandle for smiles and hiding behind their own. Ironically, people clamor for idiotic smiles but claim that they don'y like being lied to. Clearly, feel good bullshit is high among their vices. Realistically, obligatory smiles do not intellectually depreciate us all, many of us are beyond braindeath.